Breaking through the formidable runner’s wall……
Hello. My name is Pono and I want to be a skinnyaire…….so freakin bad! A lot has transpired since my last post. For some reason I had one post this last week that did not post nor can I find it anywhere in my posts at all for editing. It has basically vanished into thin air. I have not one clue where it went……..however, here I am. This week was definitely my runner’s wall as they call it. I pretty much did not work out but maybe once. My eating has been okay but could be better. I think I put on a couple of pounds back on due to my lack of motivation. I’ll expound more upon this in my next paragraph!
I was doing pretty well until a week ago. I think one of the problems is I can’t find an accurate scale to weigh myself so I’m not doing myself any justice by not seeing the progress I’m making. At the same time I am so fearful of looking at the progress I’m making for some reason. I feel that since I hit the “wall”, I might as well sabotage myself and do what I do best……and that is fail at it so I don’t expect too much out of myself and let myself down too much also. That way, I’m not letting myself down well into the program and I can tell myself I gave it my best shot but, “oh well”! The thinking is really off but these are my thoughts that run through my head. I can slowly gain my weight back and keep lying to myself that I am trying daily my very best when in fact I am not being fully honest with myself. I was really thinking deeply about it also this past week and was almost wallowing in my pity until it hit me. My epiphany. My wake-up call. I think everyone needs one. You can definitely find one if you think hard enough. The thing going for me is I really want to be better. I want to triumph over this. I want to look in the mirror and say I am strong. I am powerful. I am unstoppable. Then, one day……..WHAM!
As I sat there in thought and really struggling to through the negative self-talk for not working out yet another day, it came to me. I am so caught up in myself I forgot the reason I was doing this. I reread my About me section again. I am not doing this for me. I am doing this for them. The five innocent wee ones that depend on me. The ones that look up to me and say, “I wanna be strong like daddy when I grow up”! The darkness instantly cleared and my vision became very clear. Oh yes, I said to myself. I am not here for me. My personal virtues will benefit from everything I do positively for the better naturally as my life takes its course. My children will benefit naturally also as I better myself. I will continue to better myself as I live for them. They will be my constant reminder and my personal little cricket telling me to do it again because its good for me. I feel like a ton of bricks have lifted off my back. I don’t care that I put a couple of pounds back on or that I missed a week. My shoes are already on tied on my feet and when I publish this post I’m going for a run. Then, I’ll do my run again before trick or treating and then tonight. I’m going to do the Forrest Gump and keep runnin until my friendly neighborhood friend, Mr. Belly, leaves for good. So, I’ve got measurements I’ll be posting this evening along with our successful haul of delectable sugary wonders we’ll be graciously pleading for at each lit doorway we come across. Then I’ll measure everything in one week and have a pic for you too! I want to tell anyone following to keep following me and to keep struggling to lose the weight along with me. It’s time for a revolution of the mind!