Con Fon IT!
Hello. My name is Pono and I want to be a skinnyaire. I am definitely on a roll. Feeling great! I am going to continue this streak without thinking because whenever I start to think about it, I end up not going and working out at all! Today, I was up at 5:30 a.m. Why? Who the heck knows…..definitely not in my right mind, though. I think back to all those times my mom and dad made me lay down to take a nap and I didn’t for those two hours or we had naptime in kindergarten and I was the only one awake. What the FREAK was I thinking. If I could take all that back or see myself, my little pono, I would tell him that if he didn’t nap he would go blind as an adult or something drastic just to get him to nap! So, at 6:00 a.m., my 7-month-old son was up so I took him with me to Walmart to get some milk. Like Starsky and Hutch, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Mutt and Jeff, we set out to on our excursion with full purpose in mind and some change in our pockets. Now, let’s forward to workout time. The whole family went to the park which is literally walking distance from the house, actually its more like spitting distance…….watermelon seed spitting and not tabackee spit……from the house. I did my mile walk with speed only I have seen — well, that I usually see when I’m all alone or with my family and no one else around to dispute my story…….but nonetheless, speed. Oh, and with the agility and dexterity and quickness of a cat..well, a cat that might be really old, blind, overweight and has a respiratory illness…quickness. Yup, I was amazing…..so as I walked around afterwards, I started to stiffen up in the right knee. Especially when I sit down for few minutes and get up my right knee will not bend. In the words of the great Flossie, “CON FON IT!” A little fluid in the kneeskees and I’m a cripple.
Click on the picture to see how I will be treating my knee
I actually made it to Walmart for an hour and a half and my back started to stiffen on the right side, too! WTHockeysticks??!!!?? My behind is cramping a little and my hamstrings will cramp if I lift my leg to stretch my quad….I know this because I already triedit and it started to cramp up tight! So, to all of you out there, getting back in shape is not glorious. It requires dedication, commitment to self and most importantly, love of self. Forget the pains of our mere mortal vessels…..we are warriors, men and women of valor. We step onto the blacktop war zone and fight for control of our own minds to have the power to overcome. The enemy is not a person or entity or organization or conspiracy theory that the government is trying to keep us sick as people to profit off our pill purchasing frenzies….oh no, my friends, the enemy looks back at us every time we look in the mirror, every time we see that hamburger or candy bar and wage war on our own conscience. The halls of Valhalla can wait until after we have ascended the throne of physical supremacy and used these specimen vessels to conquer and triumph for many years to come. Tonight, we feast not on foods of folly, but on the discipline of self-control.